It took a Lifetime

During a 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. follow-up training and networking session for the leadership teams of 10 schools from Lee County, FL that are participating in a National Education Association (NEA) Grant, I demonstrated how a class meeting format could be used with faculties to discuss key issues. 

The topic, Data Folders, came from survey results sent out and returned the week before the meeting, asking each person to rank topic preferences.  The Questioning Process, practice with the questions, and data folders were the top three choices.  Cindy McClung and I collaborated on the Cooperative Class Meeting™ format, and wrote the whole activity in about 15 minutes.

In addition to the Cooperative Class Meeting™ format, the participants were grouped by elementary, middle school and high school in order to provide the networking that was asked for, and to share with those at the same level.

The activity was well received.  During the wrap-up I made the statement that we had put together the activity in 15 minutes because we were so familiar with the Questioning Process and the class-meeting format.

When I got back to my hotel room and was doing my usual self-evaluation/reflection, I remembered a story I had heard about Picasso. 

A woman was strolling along a street in Paris when she came upon Pablo Picasso, easel and chair in front of him there on the sidewalk. Amazed at her good luck, she rushed up and asked him if he would paint her portrait and charge her accordingly.  Picasso said, "Of course!" and immediately began sketching her.  Within just a few minutes, he was finished and showed the woman an amazing original Picasso portrait. "That will be 5,000 francs", he said.  The woman, startled at the larger-than-expected amount of money, said, "But that only took you a few minutes!"  Picasso shook his head.  "No my dear, it took me a lifetime."

I realized that the Data Folders Activity had not taken us 15 minutes.  It had taken us a combined 40 years to learn Choice Theory, Reality Therapy, Instructional Practices, Quality School and Baldrige (Sterling) Models, etc., in order to be that efficient and effective.

We had reached what Malcolm Gladwell, in Outliers (2008), calls the Law of 10,000 Hours. We tend to forget that the practice that comes with experience can make a complex task appear easy.

Bob Hoglund

Focus

FOCUS is the key to your effectiveness.

When you focus, you prioritize your choices, eliminate alternatives not to be pursued, and concentrate your full attention, resources, and energies on a narrow selection of goals and courses of action.

Most people do not achieve their full potential because they diffuse their efforts by pursuing too many alternatives. Rather than selecting one or two major tasks or goals to pursue, they spend their time throughout the day, week, and month in drabs and dribbles doing a little bit of everything.

It is better to pursue one thing and do it well then to pursue multiple alternatives with mediocre results.

 Do:

·        Pursue only one or two major goals at a time.

·        Prioritize your alternatives and select those that are most important.

·        Eliminate low priority alternatives.

 Don’t:

·        Diffuse your efforts on too many initiatives.

·        Get distracted once you set a course of action.

 Goals

GOALS are tools that you use to create your life.

 Goals enable you to become what you want to become and accomplish what you want to accomplish.

 Goals are not just end results to be achieved; goals are the stepping stones to the life that you will live.

 You are already on a path based on goal choices you have already made. Take the time now to look down that path and evaluate if it is headed where you want to end up. If not, you can change your past and final destination by simply changing your goals.

 When you select a goal, make sure that you are very clear and exact about what you want to achieve.

 Do:

·       Take time to decide the goals that you want to pursue.

·       Select goals that will make you into the person you want to become and will cause you to achieve the results you want to achieve.

 Don’t:

·       Let others direct your life by dictating the goals you will pursue.

 Pages 11-13

ABCs for Life  © 2001 James R. Ball  Keep It Simple for Success  The Goals Institute.

A Coach, Not a Dictator                                                              

Deming talks more about leadership than any of the other experts, although they all agree that leadership is critical.  Describing a leader, Deming says that he understands how the work of this group fits into the aims of the company, its constancy of purpose. He tries to create for everybody, interest, challenge and joy in work. He teaches them cooperation, he works by cooperation.  He tries to optimize the education, skills and abilities of everyone - helps them to improve.  He's coach and counsel, not judge.  "Judging people doesn't help them." Deming says that there are three sources of power a leader can use: the formal power of his position, the power of his knowledge, and the power of his personality.  A successful leader, he says, "develops knowledge and personality" so that people come to him for help and advice.  He uses formal power of position sparingly and only because "this source of power enables him to change the system, equipment, material, methods, to reduce variation in output." Formal power therefore is only used to order fundamental changes.

Questions:

1.   What are your thoughts on Dr. Deming’s explanation of leadership?

2.   When do you find yourself using the various types of power?

3.   How do relate Deming’s concepts with your understanding of Lead management as defined by Dr. Glasser?

Reading:  DR. Deming  

Questions:  BobHoglund

The Language of Responsibility (Education)                                                

People regularly use language that attempts to excuse or deflect responsibility.  Even teachers frequently ask questions that imply a lack of personal responsibility or self-control.  For example, teachers often ask students, “How does that make you feel?”

Nothing makes us feel a particular way.  Our feelings result from the importance or value that we put on the person, situation, or event.   One student can score a 90% on a test and be happy.  Another gets the same 90% and feels terrible about it.  It is not the information that creates the feelings, but what we do with the information.

Consider also these statements commonly made by students:

 “S/he or you made me angry.”

“S/he hurt my feelings.”

It is important for students (and adults) to realize that we are capable of controlling our response to a situation.  While our first inclination may be to become angry about a perceived wrong or feel hurt over unkind words, we can choose to deal calmly with either situation. 

The use of appropriate language reinforces the concept of accepting responsibility for our actions and choices.  Consider these examples:

 “I have to…”

 “I didn’t have a choice…”

 “Why did you give me that grade?”

All of the above comments are attempts to avoid responsibility.  No one HAS to do anything.  Of course, there are personal, social and legal consequences involved in all decisions.  We always have a choice.  However, we don’t always have a good choice. In the last comment, the student is placing the responsibility on the teacher.  It is up to the teacher to return that responsibility to the student.  Too often, teachers trying to help students accept this responsibility fall into the “We vs. You” trap.

We vs. You

There is a strong tendency to ask a student, “What can we do about it?”, or “How can we solve the problem?”  While these are perceived by the teacher as helpful questions, the result is that full responsibility for the solution is removed from the student.

Instead, ask,

·       “What are some of the options that you see?”

·       “What are you going to do?”

The Language of Responsibility (Counseling)

People regularly use language that attempts to excuse or deflect responsibility.  Even counselors frequently ask questions that imply a lack of personal responsibility or self-control.  For example, counselors often ask clients, “How does that make you feel?”

Nothing makes us feel a particular way.  Our feelings result from the importance or value that we put on the person, situation, or event.  One person is happy to be separating from a spouse, another is devastated.  It is not the separation, but rather if one wants the separation, what the belief is about separation, and what values one has about the situation that impact how we choose to react.

Consider also these statements commonly made by clients:

 “S/he or you made me angry.”

 “S/he hurt my feelings.”

It is important for everyone to realize that we are capable of controlling our response to a situation.  While our first inclination may be to become angry about a perceived wrong or feel hurt over unkind words, we can choose to deal calmly with either situation. 

The use of appropriate language reinforces the concept of accepting responsibility for our actions and choices. 

Consider these examples:

 “I have to…”

 “I didn’t have a choice…”

“Why did you give me that evaluation?”

All of the above comments are attempts to avoid responsibility.  No one HAS to do anything.  Of course, there are personal, social and legal consequences involved in all decisions.  We always have a choice.  However, we don’t always have a good choice. In the last comment, the client is placing the responsibility on the evaluator, usually a supervisor.  It is up to the evaluator to return that responsibility to the client.  Too often, counselors trying to help clients accept this responsibility fall into the “We vs. You” trap.

We vs. You

There is a strong tendency to ask a client, “What can we do about it?”, or “How can we solve the problem?”  While these are perceived by the counselor as helpful questions, the result is that full responsibility for the solution is removed from the client.

Instead, ask,

·       “What are some of the options that you see?”

·       “What are you going to do?”

Excuses Begone

Excuses Begone by Wayne Dyer, is an outstanding book that describes 18 excuses that we, and others, use that limit our personal and professional growth and ultimately our happiness.  There are explanations in the book for each excuse and suggested thought processes to work on and eventually overcome them.

1. It will be difficult.
2. It’s going to be risky.
3. It will take a long time.
4. There will be family drama.
5. I don’t deserve it.
6. It’s not my nature.
7. I can’t afford it.
8. No one will help me.
9. It has never happened before.
10. I’m not strong enough.
11. I’m not smart enough.
12. I’m too old (or not old enough).
13. The rules will let me.
14. It’s too big.
15. I don’t have the energy.
16. It’s my personal family history.
17. I’m too busy.
18. I’m too scared.

Dyer asks each of us to answer the following questions when we catch ourselves making excuses.

A New Paradigm

1. Is it true?
2. Where did the excuses come from? 
3. What’s the payoff?
4. What would my life look like if I couldn’t use these excuses?
5. Can I create a rational reason to change?
6. Can I access universal cooperation in shedding old habits?
7. How do I continually reinforce this new way of being?

How many of these excuses limit you?

Why Disclaimers Backfire

Saying “I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but…” actually makes your comment sound more high-and-mighty – that is, assuming it actually is pompous.  The same goes when you ward off acusations of laziness and selfishness.  According to recent research, rather than immunize you, disclaimers direct expectations to unappealing traits.

Psychology Today May/June 2008 p. 15.